Originally Posted by YGirl
The problem with this is that some people find out they have ADD and then that becomes the excuse for their irresponsibility: "Aw shucks! It's that pesky ADD acting up again!"
I don't know the OP, but from what she wrote it looks like he has just gotten used to having her do all his thinking for him about mundane stuff he just can't be bothered with because it takes away from the energy he has to devote to his extracurricular activities.
In other words, the OP has THREE kids, not two.
That's true-in all walks of life there are people looking for excuses for bad behavior. At the same time-someone who is truly ADD (which can only be identified by a professional with experience) has major differences in how their brain operates and they CAN NOT do certain things the way average normal people do. So getting diagnosed so that they can learn HOW they CAN do it is critical.
It would be sad for such an openminded, caring, responsible women to have her relationship fall apart because her husband had a medical issue that COULD resolve their problems (if that is what it is).
NOW-that doens't mean he WILL do anything about it-but wouldn't more info be better than less?