Can a person really have it all?
I am feeling a little upset, more like alone. I know that it is not good to depend on others to make you happy and that you need to be happy with your self before adding any one into your life. All of that is rational and square. However, I do wish I had someone to share time with, hold hands, laugh over random things and finish each other sentences. Can a person really have it all?
Iíve taken a semester off from school to get my mind in order. Find myself and reflect on what I want. Iíve learned a lot about myself, what makes me who I am. Iíve also found a spiritual community who understands my spiritual believes and they are very accepting and understanding. Iíve learned to keep peace with my family by thinking before I react. Itís not easy leaving at home when you are no longer a child and your family sees you incapable of doing the most basic tasks. However, Iíve learned patience and to walk away from unnecessary confrontations.
All valid lessons and I am proud of all the great work Iíve done so far. A part of me wishes there was someone special in my life. I feel like I am depriving myself. But I donít want to jump into a commitment with just anyone. I have worked so hard at getting my self to where I am that I donít want to throw away my sanity for a sparkly smile.
I want to continue to grow and keep reaching my goals with someone that makes me laugh and will support me rather than pull me down. Iíve made the mistake before of committing into relationships with people who demand and expect my whole attention and Iíve made the mistake of throwing myself out the window and turning into what they wanted and needed. At the end, I lost my self and ended up alone. This time around I want to play it safe and stay true to my self.
"To laugh often and love much...this is to have succeded."-Emerson