Originally Posted by Ivy
If I love someone, what on earth could possibly drive me to hurt them simply to make myself happier?
I'd love to hear anyone's input on this. I'm seeing more and more of my acquaintances in poly and open relationships spout lovey-dovey, peace and happiness crap when they're the ones carrying on an outside relationship, but when their partner shows interest in someone else, it's the end of the effing universe, they collapse into depression and alcoholism, and sometimes break things off entirely.
I feel close to this kind of situation.
The first part; making or getting yourself happy is sometimes not 'simple'. Expressing your essential self is mandatory for your 'self' to be happy.
And here is where the sigh comes from, though I am not going to "collapse into depression and alcoholism" over this, my boyfriend asked me the 'what if I WAS interesting in someone' question. Initial reaction <barf>, see, far from alcoholism or depression...that was supposed to be funny
And then I asked myself 'why such a visceral reaction to a simple question'. Firstly, that is no 'simple' question. Why...and here is why in all honesty why is struck me; I DON'T FEEL LIKE I GET TO SPEND ENOUGH TIME WITH HIM! Ha! I did it, I said it...ok, I typed it. <celebration over> I digress. Secondly, we have a long distance relationship so another relationship taking time away from 'us'...hmm, how shall I say this nicely, (oh whatever, I will just continue with the honestly) HELL TO THE NAH! And while yes, I want him to be happy and all, I also need him to know how I feel about it at this particular juncture. Additionally, I also said, it is not really possible to tell him how I would feel about it in the future but RIGHT NOW, that is how I feel.
So it is both, I feel all lovey-dovey yes. And, I have never been someone to tell a friend the 'real' part of how things work. Especially when all they see is it working. So, sister, from one woman to another; I don't feel like it is the end of the universe by a looooooong shot. I don't even feel like I need to 'worry' about it now. It's abstract, ya know?