If you haven't figured it out by now this may be a shock to you.... We are all products of our enviroment, we bring with us ill conceived values and our personal warped sense of right and wrong. These were "taught" or showed or we experienced life in such a way that we came to expect what normal is. M (my wife) and I both had what could be called a difficult childhood. As a result our normal was that love and sex were absolutely two different things, both could be good but when mixed could be disasterous. Neither of us expected monogamy from the other or wanted it for ourselves. In the 12 years we have been together we have had an open relationship.
All relationships have ups and downs and we have managed to take that to the extreme both up and down, our relationship is very good and has grown way beyond what either of us could have imagined in the beginning. When we got married we had only 3 vows. 1. Be open and honest, even if it hurts the other's feelings. 2. Never run out of coffee. 3. (we cant remember the 3rd
Recently she fell in love, fell hard. "R" was just to be a quickie, a one or two time thing, get her rocks off and move on. Not her usual type at all. But something clicked, something fell into place and she and he were hooked. It's been good for her, it's been better for us. Remember vow 1 of open and honest, that has changed from complete transparency to discussing emotions and fear, from knowing everything to complete trust and acceptance.
We have changed in the last couple of months, amazingly another love (not another fuck) has brought us closer, has taught us both that love and sex can be together, and that love is not just reserved for two. We are learning more about each other and letting go of assumptions about each other that we have held for over a decade.
That is enough for now... and for those that are wondering.... We NEVER run out of coffee.