Thread: A date...
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Old 05-07-2011, 06:28 PM
Isaac Isaac is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Vancouver, BC. Canada
Posts: 8
Thumbs down A date...

So, I had my first real 'date' with a women other than my partner, Rachel, last night... We met online (something I have never done before) and we met for drinks. Things went great for a couple of hours: felt like we connected (even though I sensed minor reluctance when I mentioned I was a feminist... generally a red light for me, but it seemed fine this time), conversation went smoothly, we laughed lots, I wasn't constantly in my head thinking about Rachel... it was good.

Then she asked me why I was on the dating site we met on (because I 'seem like a great guy'... based on some underlying assumption that only shitty people have to resort to online dating? I dunno...). Anyway, currently my philosophy on when to disclose that I'm poly is the earliest time it feels right, without being too early, and it's a must whenever it feels like it would be dishonest not to do so... So when she asked me why I was online, I think it would have been dishonest for me not to tell her I was with Rachel.

As you all may have guessed, it didn't go so fantastically. It certainly could have been worse, but it was not good. She was "confused." She wants something more 'traditional,' etc etc. She wasn't 'trying to offend' me 'or anything,' but it just isn't what she wants. She wants her man to 'give her everything' or some such thing. Anyway, I realize that (and perhaps just realized it more strongly now, having typed it out) with her having these values and me having mine, we probably aren't such a fantastic fit, for long term anyway... but I guess I'm just really frustrated that I connected so well with somebody (and we spoked quite a bit afterwards about how much we enjoyed one another and how disappointed we were) and that it's now impossible for us to even have a bit of temporary romantic fun because of 'traditional' societal fucking values. She still wants to see me, but it can't be 'romantic' now. I told her I would see her again, and she asked if that was OK even knowing her stance. Yes. I asked her the same question (knowing that I was attracted to her and wanted more than 'just friends')... she said she doesn't know, with a laugh.

Feminism is for everyone.
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