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Old 10-01-2009, 08:04 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723
Default the silence is loud....!

Just an update for those following...

Well, It's been over a month since my Mum stopped talking to me now. It seems that, according to my Dad, she is determined that she is right and that Mono is a threat to my family and my child. Apparently she has threatened to write me out of her will as she thinks I am going to abandon my child and husband.

Tonight she went to her first counseling appointment under the notion that she would find another companion on her crusade to prove I'm wrong and that my life style is dangerous to her/societies status quo. I hope that this counselor sees through her paranoia and brings her back on track with it being her issue and her misery that causes her grief, not me.

Anyway, I could go on about the nuances of my mother, but I won't.

My point is that I am in mourning over the loss of my mother. I have been in every mourning stage. Disbelief, anger, sadness, denial, and back... I'm exhausted by it. I can't believe she is believing the stories in her head, I am so angry that she has removed herself from all our lives, including my son, I'm sad that she doesn't love me for who I am and is not happy for what I have, I don't believe that she is serious and really doesn't want me in her life. It goes round and around constantly.

My Dad believes some of it also... we did have a relatively good chat over tea, but we fell into the same dynamic of him talking, me listening and then him saying that he thought we were done and it's time to go, before I got to say what I wanted to say. I managed to tell him how our love works and where it comes from, that it wasn't because I lost a child and needed to fill that space and that I am that I am filled with love and happiness in my life and so are my husband and son also.

There is so much work to do.... but just like poly brings out openness and honesty, so has coming out as poly.
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