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Old 05-06-2011, 05:48 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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Originally Posted by MorningTwilight View Post
What would you as a poly say to a mono who responds, "Well then, why don't you just tell yourself not to fall in love with anyone else?"

This is a great question! Expecting one person to turn off emotions because you see it as negative is not so easily done. The thing is, her jealousy is seen as a negative emotion to you because it impedes what you want. The love you have/could have for another woman is seen as a negative to her because it impedes what she wants.

Jealousy is as clinically recognized and just as natural an emotion as love is. Although it may be even more complicated because it is influenced by so many factors.

How can you respond to this question? I guess you would have to come up with an answer that genuinely convinces the mono person that jealousy is a negative thing for your specific relationship. But that requires them to be able to see how you loving someone else the same way is not a negative to them. I honestly do not believe any verbal answer will convince a truly mono person. I think the only way for them to believe it is to experience this situation. Trial by fire. The downside is…it won't be true for every person. For some people there is no happiness in sharing their partner.

Good luck and hats off for being so open and brave with your communication. That is a gift to both of you.

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