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Old 05-06-2011, 05:44 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JenAgain View Post

I don't feel any less about him as a husband and a father. He's amazing. I couldn't ask for a better one. But now I feel like I can't be enough for him. That he wants me to be this perfect person for him that I can't be. I accept him for the mono person he is. I wouldn't force him to be poly, though I'm certainly not against it, and I wonder if it would help me as well. This whole time he's felt like the inadequate one, but I think it's me that's inadequate. How can I possibly be his everything and still be me?

All I know is that I can't imagine my life without hubby, and I can't imagine my life without poly.. so now what? I always said I would give up poly before my husband, and I stand by that. I just don't get, why he doesn't get it. Why he doesn't see how much I love him? That I can love him, and love somebody else, and it takes nothing away from him, except for time. And how much time am I here, waiting?
I can soooooooo empathize!!!! Sundance and I are suffering through a lot of the same.

I love the nice things Mr said to you, how sweet. We are really lucky to have him here on this forum, as well as the other wonderful supportive people. I'd be a wreck without this!

I feel like I'm on the fence and I'm getting so worn out from working to strike some balance. I am just exhausted. But neither side is more appealing than the next, either, so here I am, balancing but sometimes I feel close to a breakdown from it. Sometimes I dream of running away alone to a beach somewhere, even for a week or two, just for a break from it all! At least I could just be ME, full of love, free to feel, without having to PROVE anything for awhile. Ah, yes, dream on, carma!
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Formerly married to Sundance
Boyfriend -- Butch Cassidy
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