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Old 05-06-2011, 03:05 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South of an Igloo, North of a Desert.
Posts: 883

Monogamy is NOT the easy route ! If it was, there wouldn`t be so many divorces.

There are challenges in both relationship styles...The difference is, that monogamy has more support to recognize and understand those challenges,..*IF* people recognize, and choose to look for support.

I`ll probably get my head bitten off for this,..but I`ll say it anyhow. I don`t need open/poly relationships at all. I don`t feel a 'need' for it. I have a 'ability' to do it, which is fine,...but I have been monogamous at various times, and I was fine with it.
If I had to be monogamous for the rest of my life,..I`d be just fine. I`d not wilt, or die, nor feel like I 'lost' a part of me. ( I might get my back up, if it wasn't my choice, and it felt imposed, but thats another story.)

Then there are other people who feel being poly is a part of who they are to a deep structural core. They don`t feel they could ever be monogamous again.

So I think of it more like a Kinsey-scale scenario. Some of us couldn`t 'live', be happy, or be true, if we don`t embrace poly to our core.
While others might have a lesser 'need' to 'be' poly. You don`t hear much from these type of people, because they get labelled as 'untrue' and 'fakes' many times, by those that don`t understand them.

So maybe looking at all the 'hurdles' just isn`t worth it to you, because you don't feel that overwhelming need to be poly ?

Just make sure you aren`t fooling yourself, due to a new relationship with NRE. Are you going to be able to handle it long-term ? Can you be monogamous in the true sense, or does it feel like a compromise in your heart?
If you feel being poly is a part of your identity, this could be a little tougher on you. If it more like a forbiden-fruit scenario, can probably handle it.
Also,..your monogamous man and you,..have a long time to grow together,..who knows where both your thoughts will be in 10 years.....? Maybe things will still be firmly monogamous,...maybe not.

There are so many options to live life, .... I chose to enjoy the people I am with, long as it feels right. Regardless of how the relationship style is presented to me.

I hope this helps.
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