I have no problem with you asking. You also said 'it sounds like you would if Mary did'
I was just asking you what led you to that conclusion?
I also thought I had already answered that question contrary to what you interpreted (which is why I was wondering what part of what I said led you to believe that). I would have no problem with her dating another man as long as honesty in the relationship(s) was maintained by all involved, and all of us were able to continue having our expectations from the relationship met. My PREFERRED relationship would be one in which all members of the relationship love each other. Models where there is a person at the center of their lovers, who are not necessarily involved with each other do not appeal to me. At the same time, I haven't felt the slightest twinge of jealousy for someone I loved since shortly after high school when I realized that jealousy for someone you love goes against the principle of loving them (if you love them you want them to be happy). I would have no problem entering into a relationship like that, it just isn't my preferred model because it seems like it would put a lot of pressure on the person in the center to meet all the expectations of their lovers.
I'm not saying it's against my preferences because I don't think it could work; I'm sure it can. It just seems to me like I would have an easier time managing in a relationship where all members are equally involved.