Well, I think Mary and I may have similar taste in women at least. I also trust her judgement with people, so I think if she had a bad feeling from a woman I was interested in, that would cause me to reconsider.
Originally Posted by redpepper
Would you have a problem with the women you want to date being with other men? It sounds like you would if mary did.
What would possibly lead you to believe that? Are you making this assumption because I'm (comparatively) young? Because I'm new to this message board and so I obviously must be coming in here looking for a second woman to join our relationship? I didn't specify any kind of condition on the gender of person I would enter into a relationship with.
Originally Posted by live4themusic
If a girl I was involved with wanted to bring a guy into a relationship, for example, I would really feel most comfortable if it was a guy I could see myself loving as well (although I am 99% not sexually attracted to men, I would definitely think myself capable of expressing affection and love with them in nonsexual ways -- if it was one of the rare men I would even consider some limited sexual relationship with possible then even better). Similarly, if I was in a relationship, I would feel most comfortable bringing another girl into it if my current partner(s) also felt the same way about them.
That's just the fact of the matter. I WOULD feel uncomfortable if someone I loved also wanted to date another guy (or girl) who I believed to be bad news. I wouldn't object to it, but I wouldn't be dishonest about my feelings on the situation if asked. There are men that I absolutely have the capacity to love and even some who I may feel a mild sexual attraction toward. Any of those would be wholeheartedly embraced by me.
If a girl I loved wanted to date someone I believed to be immature or inconsiderate, well, if they make them happy, that makes me happy, but I would still be uncomfortable and would not also want a relationship with that person.
Regarding salvaging my relationship with Mary, I'm not really interested in just dating. When I'm single, I like casual dating for fun, company, and good sex, but I just don't see myself being seriously involved with 99.99% of women I know. I also don't think in a relationship I would really have any desire to add another person to the relationship, unless it was someone I had gotten to know incidentally over a long period of time and felt deep love for already. So I think if I were to know someone well enough that I thought they would be a good addition to an already existing relationship, I could bring it up with Mary and if they are so compatible with me, they probably will be with her as well.
I also think I need to talk to her about the possibility of trying out swinging later in the relationship if we both want to, but that's a completely unrelated topic, and also not nearly as important to me because sex if fun, but love is what makes the world go round. In the ultimate scheme of things love is the important thing.