Thread: Struggling
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Old 05-04-2011, 11:52 PM
MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ping-ponging around Europe, trying to get a publishing concern off the ground
Posts: 718

Originally Posted by StillaStudent View Post
A little piece I forgot to add: one of the worst parts of this deal with my wife's boyfriend and her not being "in love" with me is that is absolutely has caused me to love my wife less. I could handle the idea of her loving others, but being more "in love" with others, well that doesn't fly with me.
Frankly, I think that you should reconsider your priorities. New relationships bring new relationship energy (NRE). This is the being (or "falling") in love that you're having trouble dealing with. Unless it's a case of loveless "just sex", NRE is almost inevitable. It's taking longer to fade away than you hoped. Go easy on yourself: Get used to it.

Better for her to be "in love" for a while longer than for her to decide that
a) she doesn't love you at all;
b) she and you have no future together;
c) she and Steve do: they have a really solid, deep love that can be counted on for the rest of their lives;
d) you're unfit to be a father and Steve would make a GREAT father / step-father.
Originally Posted by StillaStudent View Post
I was kind of excited by the prospect of going out and getting myself a girlfriend on the side as well, but it was more as a fun thing to toss into a fullfilled relationship. Now, this has caused me to feel there is a hole in my relationship that I want another girl to help fill in.
BAD move! VERY bad move. Do NOT use other people to "paper over the cracks" in your marriage... or your life. ONLY start new relationships when you're feeling healthy. Otherwise there's a 90% chance that the new relationship will be unhealthy, too... and will make this whole mess even worse.
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