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Old 05-08-2009, 03:58 AM
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nikkiana nikkiana is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Brooklyn, NY
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Originally Posted by Lemondrop View Post
MonoVCPHG--Well, I didn't *intend* to be polyamorous. I guess we met the right people at the right time, and I adapted because I love them and want to be with them. I still have a lot of monogamous thought processes that I'm trying to get rid of so that my relationship can be happy.
I think this statement could be taken one of two ways... so, I wanted to clarify what you mean...

I noticed a few people are taking this to mean that you yourself are monogamous and trying to make yourself fit into a polyamorous mold to make the others in your relationship happy... and they were disturbed by the implication, and rightly so I think... Forcing yourself to be something you're not isn't healthy and is going to lead toward resentment....

However, I found myself reading it a little differently... I read this to mean that you feel you are polyamorous and you want to make it work, but there are years of social conditioning from living in a culture where monogamy is the norm that you need to work through that to getting in a place where you feel comfortable.... This is healthy, I think... and it takes time.

I just wondered if either of those boats were the one you found yourself floating in... and Welcome!
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