Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn
Is finding someone becoming a mild obsession? If it feeds into your negative self-image, it might be good to take a break from active searching all-together for a while and work on self-image issues instead.
Excellent comment! You're not in a competition here. Accept the fact that you're shy, work on that shyness (and ESPECIALLY
any feelings of inadequacy - these are in your head, not
in your worth as a person), and relax a little.
Think about this: Would you really
rather be dealing with 16 sexual relationships with physically VERY attractive people, be the most popular guy around, [have your girlfriend jealous of your
success], have it leaked that you're dynamite in bed, have strange women 'phoning you up in the middle of the night... but for all those relationships and all that sex to leave you feeling emotionally empty, physically used, and with the taste of dust and ashes in your soul?
Would you really?
Stop trying to compete and appreciate your girlfriend. Isn't she wonderful? If somebody else comes along (or you go out and find them... but without STRESS) and it all works out happily, even better. But don't suffer
Look at me: I'm polyamorous (by conviction) and have had no
more-than-me sex in years (by circumstances). [links to my introduction
and my thread "Polyamorous and celibate"
! Am I jealous of you!!!
Welcome on board!