Yeah I think you are right in that it's coming from a place of reactivity. You hit the nail on the head NY
I do that a lot.
I don't know if I *can* just enjoy the dating... I think that often I am just too anxious about "where is this going" and "am I going to end up hurt/frustrated?". I don't want to go into a relationship like that!! It's not fair to the other person, not loving, and seems like it will sort of be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Perhaps it would be a good idea for me to continue to take things slowly and also work on reducing my relationship anxiety (and attempts to control). A few months ago I was definitely more lighthearted about dating and such. Processing things on here is helping a lot too.