Thread: Struggling
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Old 05-03-2011, 08:51 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478

One thing I've found in "poly world" is that my husband's emotions change. A lot. OFTEN. If we jumped to the beat of his drum, we'd be psycho by now! I don't think you need to throw the baby out with the bathwater.... that is, the boyfriend out with the mixed emotions! You sound open-minded, this is just tough to wrap your head around, especially at first. You can still grapple with your feelings of jealousy without kicking Steve out or cutting off your wife's relationship with him. You will need a lot of support (here on this forum there is LOADS of it ) and dedication to making the best of it. It seems to me that there is some good stuff going on here, not all bad, it's just getting things into balance that you have to work on. Is it worth it? Only you can know that, for yourself.

As for me, I fantasize about moving my bf in, which will most likely NEVER, EVER happen, but still -- I can imagine our V in your situation and I wonder how we would handle it. I would not want to give up too soon, I guess is what I'm saying. But -- that is because mine is just a fantasy, not real life! Real life, where things get messy and volatile. And YES -- my husband would want a CHECK formation, rather than a V, too!

I don't know what went into the decision process of Steve moving in with you but I doubt you went into it lightly. Or -- maybe you did?

I feel bad for your hurt feelings. It is sad about the "boring" perception -- but there is nothing boring about being a good dad and being there for your child I agree with the others who have encouraged you to pursue some of your own interests again. I hope you can find some balance in your life. You don't sound like a bore, to me
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