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Old 05-03-2011, 08:25 PM
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ray ray is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 819

Whoops, just noticed I used a real name. Too late to edit, I suppose. Oh well, it's a common first name. We'll just pretend like I didn't do that.

Life never ceases to be interesting these days. I love how I was all like, oooo I wanna be monogamous and blah blah blah... Or at least avoid any kind of commitment with multiple folks. Currently I'm negotiating play relations or something (I am always a bit confused) with two guys who are good friends and have been in the kink scene for awhile (we'll call them Thing 1 and Thing 2). All of us are fairly fresh out of relationships and not looking for anything particularly serious. My anxiety about sexuality and relationships has been high key these last few days. Worrying that I'll feel obligated to do shit before I feel comfortable doing it.

And I think I haven't been getting enough alone time lately. People constantly wanting to hang out, texting me. And I'm trying to finish up finals. Plus I'm sick with a nasty cold/cough. Likely the result of too much partying this weekend. A bunch of us went to a local fetish themed night at a club. Overall, it was quite fun. I had a chance to catch Thing 2. We hadn't really gotten to talk much in person. I spent the night at Thing 1's house and actually had spent most of the day before going to the club hanging out with him. We got to play a bit and I really enjoyed it. Now, I'm just super exhausted and feeling a tad overwhelmed.

On the *squeee side, I got my awesomely awesome tax return and was finally able to buy a new laptop since my old one is pretty decrepit. I got a Toshiba and I'm quite excited for it arrive. And I have two more finals left and then I am done! That will feel so good. And I get to play with Thing 2 on friday. So much for being mono. I find it hilarious when they're like, so we were comparing notes and...

I feel like I've sluttified since breaking up with O. I've yet to decide how I feel about it entirely. Lol. I think I've gone on more dates in the last month or so than I have in my entire life before that. Sometimes I worry about losing my innocence or that my central feeling of childlike--ness will somehow vanish. But I guess that's silly. My virginity and sexual activity doesn't neccessary have to correlate to my moral standing/innocence/personality. I'm not sure why I can't seem to disconnect that.
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