One thing that I see happening is that you have given up part of yourself to be what she "thinks" (has told you) you should be. Now that you have changed who you are to fit into her mold, she finds it boring. This is not unusual. Re-claim yourself! Do the things that make you happy, follow the career that makes you happy. If that means back into the military, then do it.
Make a schedule and start looking around for some reliable babysitters! Neither of you should be stuck at home all the time with the kid just so the other can go out an party. You need a balance. You and your wife also need some date nights. Can Steve watch the kid so you and your wife can go out once a week?