I remember you. Welcome back! You were poly a long time ago, I think, but then were having a real tough time in your mono marriage. You were considering leaving, weren't you? Did you try poly at all since the last time you were here? It sounds like, from what you posted now, that you tried to give your marriage another shot and devote yourself to being mono, but I gather that doing so still wasn't satisfying. How have things been going?
When you say you don't know what to do, what are the choices you are wrestling with?