Thread: *shy wave*
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Old 05-03-2011, 06:19 AM
orcasandowls orcasandowls is offline
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: The Southern Tier, NY
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Sounds good! And pay attention to that communication. So often, problems arise because A assumes that B meant something that was very far from B's mind.
We all had a chat about a month ago that made us realize how possible that is, and we've been working on our communication ever since. We put aside time to talk to each other and check in, and to figure things out as they come up. So far, so good

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I think that one thing that you should talk fully about - before you move in - is what might be called the hierarchy of the relationships. If (for example) because of NRE (new relationship energy) you feel that you're just as important to bf as his wife is - or as important to gf as her husband is - and they know perfectly well that if the going gets rocky, it's you that has to be abandoned... that's the sort of dynamic you all should be clear about now.
We've actually discussed this a bit in the past, and I know that while I'm very important to them, and I'm considered family, if it came down to it, their marriage comes first. I understand that, and I'm glad I'm aware of it now. I also understand that it would take a whole lot for them to want me out of the picture completely.

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I agree with Ivy that it's great (and important if you're going to be moving in) that you're fine with the children. I would personally go further and hope that you consider them, too, as part of your family.
They are family. They're tiny little weird and wonderful people, and I'm very happy I'm getting to know them. I'm more comfortable with them than I ever expected to be, and I really love it!
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