Online dating has always seemed natural to me. Way back in 1996, I met who would become my wife on Yahoo! Personals. I've essentially been online dating since Mosaic became the browser of choice. I understand, however, that the dynamic is completely different for men than for women. Women are literally bombarded with a platoon of messages from a host of seedy and near seedy characters. The gems are few and far between it seems. If I were on the other end, I might be as turned off from it as others.
I do send messages. But, my strategy is to craft a very authentic and relatively telling portrait of myself and let interesting people self select. I usually get a message or two every couple of weeks and they tend to be more interesting and interested than the messages I send to others. Seems to work.
I have trouble with meeting someone in other contexts while poly. I am progressively being more and more open about being poly - but it's not something I talk about very quickly in getting to know people. So, that's a barrier to meeting people in daily life. I do attend poly gatherings when I can. But, I have no real intention in finding dating partners in those settings. I'd be happy if it happened. But, if I put that kind of pressure on attending those events, I fear I'd never go!
Male, Straight, Poly
“Instead of getting better and better at avoiding, learn to accept the present moment as if you had invited it. And work with it instead of against it. And making it your ally rather than your enemy.”