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Old 05-03-2011, 01:16 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,794

Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
My imagination is growing a juicy crop of fear and jealousy--I don't want to hear how much fun they've all been having without me! I REALLY don't want to hear how much hot sex they've all been having with my ex!!
I doubt they'd be that insensitive, but if someone did say something... eh, why not?!! Wish everyone well. Even if your heart is broken, they'd only be talking about sex. You can choose which feelings to let bother you, as they come to the surface. Love is about wanting someone happy and free. Just think about the group of friends as a circle of fucking and sucking - your relationship was unique to the two of you, while the fucking and sucking continues. Make sense?

Shit, I remember hanging out with a group in which I'd dated this one guy. At the time, he had just started seeing someone new, and we were all together with a few other friends and his ex-gf. He was acting all cocky about showing up with a new babe on his arm, and I spoke up about some sexual liaison I'd had with him and a misunderstanding he'd made about us. His ex, who had been hurting about their break-up, was relieved to hear what I'd said, and his new chick was rethinking her involvement. We all felt free to talk about sex and relationships, and if anyone said anything that seemed purposely hurtful, others of us would call him or her on doing something like that. It's all a learning experience.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:

Last edited by nycindie; 05-03-2011 at 01:41 AM.
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