Thread: *shy wave*
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Old 05-02-2011, 11:21 PM
MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ping-ponging around Europe, trying to get a publishing concern off the ground
Posts: 718

Originally Posted by orcasandowls View Post
I'm part of a happy little triad. I have a wonderful boyfriend (D) and an amazing girlfriend (C), and they are conveniently married to each other! D and C met in high school, started dating in college, and have been together for years and years. They've also got two amazing daughters, twins who are nearly two years old. We're still figuring this relationship out and learning what normal is for us and how to communicate with each other, but so far we're doing a pretty good job. Hopefully we'll keep up the good work
Sounds good! And pay attention to that communication. So often, problems arise because A assumes that B meant something that was very far from B's mind.

I think that one thing that you should talk fully about - before you move in - is what might be called the hierarchy of the relationships. If (for example) because of NRE (new relationship energy) you feel that you're just as important to bf as his wife is - or as important to gf as her husband is - and they know perfectly well that if the going gets rocky, it's you that has to be abandoned... that's the sort of dynamic you all should be clear about now.

I agree with Ivy that it's great (and important if you're going to be moving in) that you're fine with the children. I would personally go further and hope that you consider them, too, as part of your family. (Although this is something else that you should all 3 understand each other on: some people are willing to share their husbands [or wives] but NOT their children!)
Originally Posted by orcasandowls View Post
Hopefully we'll keep up the good work
This is up to the 3 of you. As long as you all believe (and feel) that your relationship(s) are worth working on, there IS hope for you.
Originally Posted by orcasandowls View Post
I'm really psyched to find this forum, I'm looking forward to meeting other poly people!! I have lots of friends who are open-minded and tolerant, but I don't know anyone else actually trying to do the poly thing.
We're glad you found us! Looking forward to reading more about you...
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