An interesting thread came up on another (the only other) forum I'm on (it's a health/diety type of site) regarding sexting as cheating. It has provoked some interesting discussion over there. I had to poke my head in to talk about assumptions-- my pet peeve in all parts of life! That assuming that sexting is bothersome to ALL people is not correct, and that these are the discussions we need to be having at the beginning of all relationships. What do we find a dealbreaker, what constitutes honesty, cheating, etc. Expecting others to be in agreement with your view without finding out their views is, to me, being a bad partner.
Obviously you can't talk about EVERYTHING up front, but hitting the biggies should be important. One of the speakers this weekend was Marty Klein and he discussed porn issues within relationships. He talked about how at the beginning of relationships things come up and we either accept them or leave For example, he comes home and says I feel comfortable with you can I wear your underwear? And she either says "yes" or gets skeeved and leaves. Then at some point we-- fall in love -- and we stop having those discussions at all, or we notice things and gloss over them. Then when things come up later, we want to retroactively change the ground rules because we don't like it. Which can be done, but it's hard and messy and takes a lot of skills that I think many people don't have.
Anyway... thought it was interesting because there was a contingent of "well obviously that's horrible and if my husband did that I'd run him through the wringer" discussion. I had to give another side...
Now I get to get through work and go take my final afterwards. EEK!