Thread: Reinventing Ivy
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Old 05-02-2011, 07:14 AM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ping-ponging around Europe, trying to get a publishing concern off the ground
Posts: 552

Ivy, I'm so glad that I found this in "New Posts". This is a fascinating story and I'm looking forward to reading more.
I thought that I had a tough time as a child: my father comparing me disparagingly with my 8-year-elder brother, my eldest sister telling me that I broke everything I touched, my religion telling me that I was a heap of shit and it was only because God was infinitely loving that he was able to love such an evil, dirty pile of dreck.

But you must have had it a lot harder. People can be so cruel. At least I didn't have to put up with much of that "hate the smart kid" stuff, because I went to a British-system school where each year was graded into classes according to academic achievement, so my classmates were all "brainees". And I wasn't the ONLY "four-eyed git" around.

You obviously have a lot of strength, if you were able to lose all that weight once you set your mind to it.
Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
But I'm also a control freak. I LOST THE FREAKING WEIGHT. No excuses. I stopped eating crap and feeling sorry for myself and I just effing lost it all. It was difficult as hell but it happened [...]
Control freak or master of self-control? The only sad part about this is that [I'm putting 2 and 2 together (and maybe coming up with 6)] it seems that you did this for the sake of possible future children and not for YOURSELF. But at least you get the benefits.
Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
[...] it allowed me to let go of some of that self-loathing.

As a nice bonus, I was suddenly very easy on the eyes. People (of any gender or sexual preference) were much, much kinder to me. Men held doors. Women asked about my fitness routine. For the first time ever at all in my entire life, I felt attractive.
I hope that you're well into the loving-yourself times.
Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
I'm starting it this evening because something pretty horrific and scary is happening to someone in my family tonight and I'm staring at walls worrying myself sick and I need a distraction.
I wonder, (2+2=8?) is this some kind of further surgery for your child? Whatever it was, I hope that it all came out OK and the crisis (and worrying) are part of the past.

I'll comment on your present polyamory situation later. I've got to finish my breakfast and head off to work (and a dentist appointment: getting one major filling, several minor ones, and the stump of a molar pulled >>)

This evening I perform a clown number for an anti-nuclear-energy vigil.
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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