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Old 05-01-2011, 08:11 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 906
Default By any other name

With poly, a lot of people seem to be a bit overworked by the whole definitions game. What to call myself. What to call our relationship. When is a relationship a relationship.

I'm all right with others getting in the game. What saddens me a little is the extra stress it causes my SOs when they try to figure whether to call me a girlfriend or whatnot. What if in a couple one wants to progress really fast and the other is just reeling with the idea of having A gf, not still quite processing having a SHARED gf?

I can be the girlfriend, the family friend, the significant other, what have you. It really makes no difference to me. But I do get that for some people, the language is the thinking. To be called a 'girlfriend' implies a whole different set of expectations and acknowledgements than a 'friend', no matter how dear, or a 'co-parent', and certainly a different set than a 'lover'.

Words have power, but only so much as we allow them. In NRE, some people want to tell the world about their new love, bring her to family functions and buy a massive house together. And others are more comfy with the 'keep it secret, keep it safe' policy - they delight in having something that is only meant for them, delight in having awesome secrets as it were. Like having discovered your own private beach, off the beaten path, which no one else seems to know about.

Which is all fine by me, but if the partners are not on the same page with this, stress and the definitions game ensues.
Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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