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Old 09-30-2009, 03:18 AM
live4themusic live4themusic is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 13

Thanks to everyone for their input.

I have gotten more comfortable with the situation and am hoping we are going to be able to remain friends for right now at least.

I have considered myself polyamorous for the past 4 years, but never actually put it to practice, i've never dated more than 1 person at a time. But it's still the principle of it for me. I don't know if I could give up on that possibility.. that nagging suspicion, that maybe, MAYBE i'll meet someone else who I love the very same way I already love this person I'm already with. Considering I have only felt romantic love 3 times in my life, and when I am already with one girl I end up spending so much of my time with her I am partially closed off from the rest of the world, it seems unlikely I would meet someone else I might be interested in seriously while in an already serious relationship.

Now, sex, that's a COMPLETELY different matter. I am much more likely to feel a strong sexual connection with a much greater scope of women. At the same time, that's something I can ignore if I'm happy in a relationship and focus on pleasing and being pleased by the person (or people if it ever came to it) in the relationship I am in.

I'm seriously considering making the first move, offering up my polyamorous ideals for another chance at a relationship. But while I'm single again for now I'm determined to enjoy some casual sex at the moment, while I make sure I'm completely ready to make this kind of commitment.

LovingRadiance, just out of curiousity, what exactly was the start of the discontent between you and your husband? I mean what brought you to counseling in the first place? What convinced you to try a sexually and romantically exclusive relationship? Do you think if you had stood your ground then you would have been able to stay with your now-husband in a nonmonogamous relationship? Was the happiness you've enjoyed with him worth the potential happiness with other people you may have missed out on?

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I may still have to learn the lesson you've learned at the cost of 11 years of your life the hard way though. Like I said I'm still deciding, and am determine at least to take advantage of the situation to indulge my sexual wild side, but I'm seriously thinking I could very well be happy in a permanent monogamous relationship.
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