Thread: Double standard
View Single Post
  #4  
Old 05-01-2011, 06:34 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

I'm with RP on this one. I think the fear of abandonment is often misinterpreted or perceived as possessiveness and control issues. In your case I think there is only one way to get past that....dive into those waters.

There is only one way to develop confidence that you will not be abandoned and that is to actually "not be abandoned". You can't hypothesis some things in life...you have to experience them in reality. It's similar to how me and Redpepper's husband dragged our heels about moving in together. We went over and over it in our minds truing to figure out how it would be. Eventually we just had to throw our hands up and say fuck it, we're doing this and see what happens". Through actual experience and not hypothesis we found out it works really well!

Take the plunge my friend...keep a lid on things but tell your partner that you sometimes worry you will speak out of turn or say sharp comments. Let her know what is going on for you so she is not paranoid or holding back. You both want this type of freedom...just dive in...it's the only way to know for sure.
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote