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Old 05-01-2011, 12:54 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by SirsShelle View Post
Hi. I posted in the introductory thread, but I thought I'd try it here as well. I'm currently a secondary partner in a poly, bdsm relationship. My primary and I both hope that at some point I'm his primary as well. He does have a live-in primary now. I'm struggling a bit with the weekly or bi-weekly meetings and his schedule having such little space. I was hoping to reach out and communicate with others who have the same issues, fears, and insecurities or others who have learned ways to cope with those!
Time management is a tough thing to navigate. Feeling wanted or needed is really the key. Do you feel like they want you in their life etc. If you feel that, then limited time can be mitigated. Little things help, but you have to decide what you want, and what they can offer. Loving texts, nice emails, sexual emails.. etc. All things make you feel included and loved.

To time itself, well thats something you might have to get used to. Your partner has a primary, thats a lot of time. I don't... and sorry RP I know you have two, I can't fathom having two primaries. The time would be badly split between the two people. I just don't see how it would be possible.

So ways to cope, find a hobby outside the relationship. Do you have friends etc outside the social spectrum of the relationships itself. It all helps to keep your mind occupied while you cant spend time with the person you love.

good luck

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