Thread: help
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:23 PM
BelueTopaz BelueTopaz is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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Question help

I'm new to this world and need advice.

My boyfriend & I have been living together for almost 5 years in a monogamous relationship. The last year was pretty tough because he seemed to be pulling away from me.

About 6 weeks ago, he admitted that he'd fallen in love with a friend. He'd been trying to fight the feelings for quite some time, but couldn't stop. He loves me more than he ever has, but also loves someone else. He even researched online to discover that he is experiencing polyamory. We realized that because he had been trying to shut down his feelings for C, he was also shutting down his love for me; because he can't love one without the other.

To make a long story short; I came to the conclusion that this was a good thing. He's so happy with her and he's been so loving & attentive with me. He made sure that I understood that he can't love one and not love the other; that the love he feels for both of us is totally intertwined. About two weeks ago she moved several states away and will be away for several months. So, this past weekend they met halfway to spend alone time together for the first time. I was excited for them both and looking forward to a couple of days to myself.

Unfortunately, by Sunday morning the "green-eyed monster" had taken me over and I am so ashamed, but I left him some very hateful messages because he hadn't called me.

I hurt him to the core and he's ready to break up with both of us and close himself down because "he doesn't know how to pick up the pieces." I don't know what to do! I don't want him to give up; it wouldn't be good for any of us!

Any advice?
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