Ok, I'm coming for a strictly monogamous relationship to falling into polyamory.
Never knew it existed or that it could be anything other than cheating.
Gator did and still does meet almost all of my needs (I have some) and wants. Through our journey, I've discovered that it doesn't have to be that way. I feel fortunate to have two men in my life that a alike in so many ways that they are the best of friends. But also different in enough ways that I can get some needs and wants met elsewhere (though some of them overlap). I like the variety I get in the men I love (as much or more than the variety I got while swinging).
I could be happy in a monogamous relationship with Gator again if need be. I will never again believe that is the only path.
I can't imagine not wanting the closeness and bond that 25 years of marriage with Gator has given us. But I also do not want to give up what I have found with Tech.
The truth is...I do not let people in easily enough to be sorry of the needs that those I do let in meet. I'm lucky to have found two men to love and who love me.