In order for ANY relationship to work - to REALLY work and "be all it can be" - it needs to have open communiction.
THAT sentence (copied from above poster) is totally true. So many people think that they can live life with "some" communication. But a truly healthy, happy and secure relationship requires that both people be able to discuss ANYTHING. It's not easy-as someone else said-but it's SO WORTH IT.
We're all works in progress and some people in life are further along then others. The counseling is a good idea. I can't recall the website-but I found this last week a site for "poly-friendly professionals". You might type that into a web browser and see if you can find a poly-friendly counselor-so you can work on the relationship itself AND decide if you are even willing to go poly with your wife-having an educated 3rd party there to help.
"Love As Thou Wilt"