Originally Posted by HappiestManAlive
I was not offended in any way by your statement re age gap, I threw that comment in because it's a pet peeve, lol.
I was asking for claarification re the "it's not poly if it doesn't involve intimacy" bit. As for your concerns about his motivations, I think you are correct in findong our views very much the same.
This forum was having a discussion a month or two ago about whether "intimacy" is synonymous with "sexual activity". There is a whole spectrum of differing opinions regarding this topic. The following dissertation applies to any relationship, mono or poly:
If someone wants to kiss someone else on the mouth or in any way other than "Hello/Goodbye" or hold hands other than for the purpose of not getting separated in a large crowd, that crosses the line from "platonic friends" to "romantic friends". Any further than that (touching the "fun parts", snuggling while naked, etc.) crosses the line from "just friends" to "fooling around", and ANY time there is the intent or attempt to have an orgasm by one or more of the persons involved crosses the line from "fooling around" to "having sex".
I'm sure I'm leaving out some variations on the theme, and I recognize that I did not address how "intimacy" fits into the above descriptions. I simply cannot cover all the bases by myself at this time...
I know that there are other people on this forum who either draw the lines in different places or just flat-out disagree with some of what I just said.