Thread: the rub
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Old 09-29-2009, 03:48 PM
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greenearthal greenearthal is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Buffalo, NY
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The band that I am in imploded a year and a half ago. We were doing really well at the time, we had a lot of great songs that we had all written together and we had a nice local fan following. And, important to me, we had at least one really talented female musician/band member.

We also had: very little income, differing ideas about time commitment and how often we wanted to play, and a band member who seemed to have passive aggressive hostility toward female musicians.

So the band imploded: split in half. There were three of us that still wanted to carry on. The female in our group had departed and she was also one of the ones who had been doing a lot of the work (getting us gigs, writing music, etc.)

At this point it also came to light that one of the three remaining members had always disagreed about how many people should be in the band, preferring that we could all make a lot more money if there were fewer of us to divide the money among. He just wanted us to add a fourth "guy" that would be a musician only and we could build the band back around my songs only.

To me... that sounded like a terrible idea. I had rather strong feelings about it in fact: something along the lines of "Please shoot me in the face before I ever resign myself to being in the archetype 'four guys band'!!"

So I invited a female friend of mine to front the band with me and she said yes. She has been totally awesome about everything, even about the episode where our former bandmate issued a passive aggresive ultimatum: along the lines of "I don't want to make any kind of ultimatum or anything but if she's still in the band in a month I'm probably going to leave." Yeah. No way that could be taken as an ultimatum or anything. (Sorry, the bitterness still seeps in no matter how dispassionately I try to recount all of this)

So, long story short, the new female lead brought in her boyfriend and her brother (both of whom are great musicians) and now we have a totally awesome band that really communicates and really wants to see each other excell and we all have similar goals and objectives. I still really miss all of my ex bandmates, and I really hope for them to acheive their various musical goals, but we all were just not fitting together at all and the people we have now fit perfectly.

It all seemed incredibly destructive and senseless at the time, but I'm glad for it because it led to here and now.
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