I definitely understand what you are saying.. I figured she probably agreed to it but saying and doing are two different things.
I am glad you are very reasonable about it like 'we are a package deal so if that means we don't have our triad so be it."
I've found its pretty hard for triads/quads etc to work out evenly.. or sometimes they start out that way but one half wants to break up, or one half gets closer to eachother than the other half.. its tough!! good luck to you