Blah, that's sad, and I can totally relate.
Right now, I have a metamour-with-benefits arrangement with Mr. Sweets, and I do love and care for him. Just not romantically - at least yet. We do have an independent relationship with him and I'm not saying passionate love will never manifest on my side, but I just might be a little too gay to be romantically involved with two guys at the same time (cf. with Sweetheart).
But the beauty of poly, or some of it at least, is that there are so many kinds of love, some of which escape definitions.
Me: bi female in my twenties