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Old 09-29-2009, 05:16 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
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At a recent poly meeting I attend, one of the people there brought up an interesting point in his own relationship. He is poly, and she is mono. They communicated very openly and honestly about what that meant for them. Essentially they agreed to take as much positive from the relationship as possible and scale it back when their paths diverged. They want to retain their friendship and not part on a bad note which is very mature. I found this very radically honest and respectful. Others may simply have said "well it's not going to work so let's end it now" but they chose the mature loving path.

He is now feeling the pull to date others but is now facing the dilemma of being in love with his girlfriend and understandably not wanting to lose her. I get the feeling she is much more capable of reshaping her love. I feel for him but also recognize that they have already set agreements in place for this. I think monos are more capable of denying love for someone in order to maintain a healthy overall heart. My own pain pleasure balance is one I have become intimately attuned to and know what I can and can't be healthy in. It really is a nature thing and a wiring thing. I know it is hard to understand, similar to monos not understanding poly hearts.

Some things just are.

Take care
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