I didn't mean I personally 'suffer' like this all the time. In fact it was actually Z who text me this morning (he is away) and said he had tried to find me in the bed all night. But I don't sleep well away from him either. What I was trying to convey is that this depth of feeling is what our culture holds up as the ultimate relationship. And even though it may be a cultural thing the feelings are very real. Maybe we should be asking which came first the feelings or the cultural expectation?
When I left my husband I wanted a great relationship, I felt like I'd experienced just about everything else. At that time I didn't consider myself Mono but once I fell in love with Z I developed all the classic mono feelings and I've had to work my way through them. We are very connected and I consider it a very healthy relationship. I've had an unhealthy relationship so I think I know the difference.
You really don't have to keep yourself awake at night to answer my posts. :-)