Originally Posted by sage
That is how a mono feels about the person they love, so it's really difficult for them/us (I don't exactly know what I am), to match up the love they feel for their partner to the love they feel for the other people they love in their life.
You make it sound like all monos and no polys feel that way. Some of these I feel too, and not just for one person.
Yes, romantic love is different from other forms of love. I agree. But that doesn't mean by loving several people we consider them interchangeable any more than loving several kids or friends mean we find them interchangeable.
There are things you feel for your kids that you don't feel for anyone else. They're unique, just like some things are unique to romantic love. But you can feel them for more than one child anyways, even if it's a feeling unique to children.
Similarly, feelings unique to a spouse can be felt for several spouses.
The bottom line is, someone with three kids doesn't like them only a third each of what someone with one kid does. Nor does it make easy if one of them dies. Considering it's possible to have one kid and it's possible to have three as well, you'd think people would know that a type of love doesn't get divided between its recipients.
To me, that remark made to me was telling me that I didn't care about my partners. That I was just using them as backups. Surely you can see how that's offensive? I understand that monos might not be able to love more than one person romantically at a time, but assuming these kinds of things about polys is rather a leap, isn't it?
In short, yes, of course, romantic love is it's unique type of love, it's not the same type as others such as love for your kids, your parents or your friends. But since people understand how you can love several people will all the other types of love, you'd think it wouldn't be so hard to understand it's also possible with this one.