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Old 04-27-2011, 02:43 AM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Up a winter mountain hoping NOT to get snowed in...
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Originally Posted by kazokujin View Post
Um... I don't want to jump to any conclusions either, but the tone of your post seems to be jumping to a lot of conclusions.
This could go 'round and 'round in circles but maybe you're jumping to conclusions about my jumping to conclusions. As I wrote the 2nd time,
As I wrote, I really don't want to jump to any conclusions, and maybe you're already questioning these shams
[underlining added this time around]
I was posing some questions that I thought might be interesting for you to consider if you hadn't already. I'm glad to read that you have.

If what you now envisage is a large(r) 3-parent family without a romantic attachment between either you or your wife and the other woman, I would consider that co-parenting rather than polyamory. And no, I didn't write sexual just now, I wrote romantic. For me, the love involved in polyamory is much more important than the sex, but the "flavour" of that love is defining. I'm not saying that sex is a prerequisite for consideration as a polyamorous group. But - to take an extreme example - in a large, happy, nuclear family it`s possible that every member loves every other member very truly and very deeply (filial, maternal, fraternal love). But I would hardly consider that a polyamorous group. To take a less extreme example, I lived for a while with a couple and their 2 daughters. I cared for (felt the love of friendship for) the couple. The children were - and now as adults continue to be - among the most important people in my life. I was - and am - a part of that family. But that wasn't a case of polyamory either, it was co-parenting.

Since you wrote of polyamory ("and to see if there's room in it (and a partner in it) for us") - and that you've studied the matter academically - perhaps I did jump to the conclusion that you were writing about considering a romantic and/or sexual attachment.

I stand corrected.
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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