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Old 04-27-2011, 12:14 AM
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sage sage is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 632

"YES!!! Why do people assume that we're capable of loving 2 parents, 4 grandparents, 3 siblings, and 21 2/3 friends, but incapable of loving more than one lover? Why doesn't it surprise them that I don't get jealous when my friend(s) has/have other friends, but they can't get their heads around the fact that I don't get jealous when my lover(s) has/have other lovers?." sorry MFFR hopeless at extracting quotes.

This may be a little off topic but I've kinda heard it too many times lately to be able to let it go without responding and it is a question so here goes, sorry if it's too much information.

I understand poly (or I try to). I have a poly partner. I regularly fell in love with other men while married to and still loving (or believing I still loved) my now ex-husband. So maybe I am the kind of bridge between the two worlds that can understand both sides.

I could give you a long soulful answer about why monos find it hard to get their heads around loving more than one person but this way is probably more fun and these questions are rhetorical

-Do you want to rip the clothes off your grandmother when you haven't seen her for a week and kiss and suck every inch of her body?
-Have you been more vulnerable with your parents than you have with any other person on the planet?
-Do you spend the night trying to find your children in your bed when they're away and you're alone in a big empty bed?
-Do you have your life and your future invested with your siblings and so become uneasy when other friends come into their lives that could change the whole direction of your life.
-Do you live through the best and worst of those 21 friends of yours everyday, or are you happy with a snap shot of their lives?
-Is your heart so full of love for all these other people that you love in your life - parents, grandparents, friends (kids are in a bit of a different league, especially when small), that you just can't imagine life without them?

That is how a mono feels about the person they love, so it's really difficult for them/us (I don't exactly know what I am), to match up the love they feel for their partner to the love they feel for the other people they love in their life.
It's a very special and unique love and even for me, as much as I want Z to experience himself as he is , it still hurts at times that he fills my whole heart and I will probably never fully fill his.
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