I am in a 2 yr+ relationship with a woman. She's got a ... secondary. He's also in a relationship with a woman, they live together. So, he is her secondary because she only gets to see him once a week, whereas she and I spend at least half the week together.
But that doesn't mean she and he don't have strong feelings for each other (they've been seeing each other for about 5 months and haven't told each other they love each other yet, tho she has told me she loves him). He is not a secondary in terms of how she cares for him. It's just the living arrangements that make it secondary.
They are still sorting out how to best meet each others' sexual and emotional needs.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
my bf: Ginger, 61, married to:
Robin, 60 (mono)
and dating (NRE): Carla and David, married couple, early 40s