I will be honest..the idea of having to get rid of mongamous thought processes in order to make your relationship happy doesn't sit well with me. I don't want to change my nature really..maybe just so it would be easier on Redpepper in some ways. I can't change my nature..that would be like telling a gay person to become straight...not gonna happen for me.
You obviously have a great deal of love for him. If I didn't love Redpeper with all my heart I couldn't bear the fear or anxiety I feel at times. I am very secure and safe with her and the relationships she has, so much now that I am afraid to just let myself go and be completely at ease...that would be oblivious wonder...
Just make sure you take care of yourself too. I hate seeing people get dragged along because they think they have no option.
Take care, love with abandon, and be true to yourself!