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Old 04-25-2011, 07:00 PM
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gamerprincess gamerprincess is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Southern California
Posts: 83
Default Is this jealousy or general concern?

I am still working through my jealous feelings and I am OK with him moving forward to meet the girl he has been talking to over the last week. However something is really bugging me about her. Him and I have talked about my concern and he is concerned too.

My concern is that she is a single mom with 3 kids who is 28. The 3 kids came from a relationship she had with a married man. When she got pregnant with the first one, she did not know he was married. Had no clue. She found out after she had the 1st and then he told her that he was having problems with his wife and wanted to leave her, so she got pregnant with the 2nd child. After she had the 2nd child his wife found out about the affair, somehow decided to introduce them, not sure whose idea it was, but the meeting didn't go well and then the wife started threatening her, so to retaliate...get this...she gets pregnant with the 3rd out of spite. Then she gave him an ultimatum, it's her or me. If you don't want to be with me and your children, just leave us alone and get out of our lives. She never heard from him again and I don't believe she has gone after him for child support.

That's what bothers me so much, is that she did it out of spite...What would stop her from trying to do that again if she fell for my bf as much as he's made it clear that can't happen and she says she doesn't want it. If she doesn't like me, what might she try to do to spite me? The same thing? My bf is concerned about that, but she reassures him she wants nothing serious but says she does want more kids eventually, just not now.

He made it clear to her that he absolutely does not want kids right now, and he never wants to have children out of a polyamorous relationship. She swears she's not doing this to have more kids and she doesn't want anything serious, yet her past actions seem to indicate otherwise.

She was the first woman we came across that was interested in a poly relationship and I think he is just settling for the 1st thing that came his way. I told him I didn't want him to just settle for whoever because nothing else has worked out and to take his time, I'm sure he'll meet someone else.

She's also the one who wanted to meet so soon. I'm glad last night he told her he wasn't ready yet and it was too soon. He said he knows he's going to be a little nervous regardless, but that he feels it's just not right yet. I told him to take his time and whenever he was ready to go meet her. If it's just to talk and nothing else, he shouldn't be so nervous. I think it's just the prospect of meeting someone after not knowing any woman but me like this in 6 years and him worrying about how he's really going to feel. I told him to not let her push him to meet her and just really think it through and do it on his terms, when he is ready.

I think he's afraid she'll not talk to him anymore if he puts it off for too long, but wouldn't that in itself be a warning sign as well? I told him I'd be more comfortable if he met a woman who was already in a relationship with another man or woman and wanted to meet someone else as well, versus the single mom with 3 kids and not fully knowing her intentions, but I know the choice is up to him. Something just doesn't smell right with this woman to me and I'd love to hear what you think.

Last edited by gamerprincess; 04-25-2011 at 07:02 PM.
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