Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn
...are tough cookies to date, I tell you.
When is a coffee date a coffee date, and when is it really a DATE, or even better, a make-out date? The secret to successful lesbian dating, of course, is that you never know until it's too late! Wham, you are in a relationship and talking about moving in together before you have even made up your mind on if she likes you or not. The trick of course is never to tell each other what you think, and just let your expectations bloom out of nowhere and wreak havoc on your emotional status, without saying a word. In the world of dyke drama, nothing is easier than to start dating somebody who doesn't realize they are dating you, and vice versa.
Well, it's not all gloom and doom in Dykelandia, but when a girl says that the more she is pursued, especially by men, the less interested she becomes, does that mean a) pursue me hard, right now; b) don't show any interest in me whatsoever and I might come running to you; c) I'm not at all interested, so don't bother; d) I'm totally interested but just need my time? Option e) any combination of the above, is a very real possibility, too.
So as not to appear like a lesbian stalker, I have only responded to her messages, and it is definitely now her turn. I have no problem doing the pursuing, but don't want to make her feel like we went out on a date and now she needs to make up her mind either way.
And in the When does attraction start? -thread I've read how people might need a LONG time to make sure if they like someone that way or not. Not doing things my way (i.e. hopping in bed together and figuring it out from there) doesn't make them bad, dysfunctional people, just different.
So far my successes in the world of lesbian dating owe everything to meeting girls through guys I already know. Bona fide lesbians politely ignore me, so I'm left with the bisexual crowd. Not that I mind at all.