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Old 04-25-2011, 02:43 PM
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Default Any successful closed triads I could chat with?

I'm the male part of what looks like it's becoming a long-term committed full/closed/equilateral/whatever MFF triad. I'm not sure about the terminology, but the idea is that what we're trying to do here is the moral equivalent of three-way marriage, with all of us on an equal footing. Not a vee, is what I'm saying. No primaries or secondaries. One of the women is my wife, to whom I've been married for over 20 years. We met the other woman about a year ago.

As things stand right now, we all want to do this. However, we all find that we don't have that good a feel for what "this" actually is. None of us has done anything even vaguely poly-ish before, or thought about it very much. If I were thinking about divorcing my wife and being with another woman, I'd have some sort of understanding of what our life together would be like; not the specifics, because she'd be a different person, but I have a general sort of understanding of how male/female marriages work. But the triad thing . . . well, we know we all find each other easy to be with, and we're all very compatible in bed, and we all love each other, but we just wonder if there are details about living together in a committed triad relationship that are obvious to people who do it but which aren't apparent to us, and which we'll someday wish someone had mentioned to us early on.

Last night, I said something to my wife about "I wish there were a support group for people doing what we're doing," and it occurred to me that maybe I could find the equivalent on this site. So I'm asking: is there anyone who's involved in a closed triad involving a long-term married couple and someone else, or who has been in the past, who could enlighten me (and us, by extension, though the other two aren't polyamory.com members) about how to make them succeed? Because I really want this one to succeed.

Last edited by PolyNewbie; 04-25-2011 at 02:50 PM.
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