Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn
The question; Can these people benefit from polyamory or some other form of consensual non-monogamy? Can cheaters change? I wonder especially because most cheaters I know are super-jealous people.
DISCLAIMER: Although I use the word 'cheater', I in no way mean to imply that there is a subset of people who will always cheat and are 'beyond hope'. Cheating is something people do, not who they are.
Good post and question BU.
I'm not as afraid of hanging a label as you when you dance around what I think is truth by carefully avoiding labeling. (something someone does vs what they 'are') I believe that what we do IS what we are !
And I think many of the types (examples) you list under the banner of 'cheaters' are valid and the term 'cheater' is misleading. Maybe an adjective such as 'cheating' (bastard, loser, scumbag etc) is more accurate ? We'll leave it to our resident English majors to pick this apart.
Because I think (my interpretation) the REAL question you are asking is.....
"Can people change their attitude and lifestyle/personality to become more honest, trustworthy,reliable etc. Can they evolve to a level of having more personal integrity ?
And in my experience only, my answer to that would be "seldom" and only after the shock of something extremely dramatic causes them to evaluate some deep seated parts of themself and the consequences that come with this.
I have never personally seen someone be "coached" into living a life of more integrity until THEY realized it was crucial to their survival.
But that is only my experience....................