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Old 09-28-2009, 08:09 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
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There just needs to be more time and more talk. Bottom line though, if you don't get along, then you don't get along. You'll have to set boundaries and guidelines on how to deal with that.

For instance, if it is too disruptive her calling, emailing and texting all the time perhaps you need to set some guidelines about how often she does that, or your partner answers those.

When we started out we had vitto power over each others lovers if they became too disruptive and it cut into our family time. Also if we didn't like the others lover. Of course vitto power was not just handed out willy nilly. It was after long talks and a lot of bull shit first.

I only used it once. Actually I threatened it and my husband ended the relationship. It turned out to be a good thing because he was in love and this woman was into open relationships, not polyamorous ones and he would of gotten his heart hurt more if he had stayed.

Anyway, you can do whatever works for you, but ya, spending time together all of you is the best way to start, and of course communicating open and honestly.
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