Originally Posted by Phy
f) That's one of our bad points. Or his to be more precise. He is almost never jealous. Or if, he can hide it really well. I complain about this quite often.
You really are of great help. I feel much more relieved then before. Still tense to the point of shaking but my heart is lighter. Thank you.
Do you really believe that how jealous somebody gets is a measure of how much they love their partner? Search for "jealousy" on this board (use the "search" option on the blue band at the top of the page). You'll find that most polys have come to realise that jealousy is a sign of insecurity.
There are plenty of people on this board who will be happy to help. Many have worked through (sometime PAINFULLY, sometimes just "tense to the point of shaking") some of the same things that you're facing now.
If you talk about this with your 2 men, encourage them to join us here. There are some monogamous members here as well. We can all learn from each other. It's always good to be shown the World from somebody else' viewpoint.
p.s. You wrote that English isn't your first language. Are you European? If so, you might be interested in a group for Europolys that I started. (Click on my name, then choose "see public profile" - where you can click on that group.)