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Old 04-25-2011, 12:54 AM
Grady40 Grady40 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 8
Default Not exactly but close enough.

Hello I'm J.
I recently came to find out i was leading a lifestyle i knew nothing about and it has me buzzing. I am married but separated and still in love with my wife. We are occasionally intimate and are often together for family functions both large and small. I still kiss her goodnight when i leave after stopping by and tell her i love her. I will always love her.

There has been too much pain and hurt in the past to make our relationship a traditional one again. We have agreed and negotiated a few years ago that she would stay my wife and we would live apart as she has a serious medical issue that needs expensive medication and i have good insurance. We would be open about any dating sexual encounters and take care not to in a rush of hormones to put our family in any harm. She was free to decide to no longer be sexually intimate if i had other partners and it would not affect our arrangement. I made sure to explain that as the mother of my children and still my wife that she would not only be excepted but genuinely affectionately included in my immediate family gatherings. They and her were free to do as they wished as far as that end was concerned. The only thing i made clear to her and them was I would at some point date and they had accept my future partner as they did her.

All of this had created a huge personal burden for me. I was out in the cold accepting situations that made dating and finding someone to have daily emotionally intimate contact with impossible i thought. When trying to date i had to keep this quiet till i felt some level of trust and then surprise women with, "Hey I'm staying married and then tell them some bullshit about how its been over for this long and stuff but I'm doing it for the kids." I was forced to deny the best part of me, that i was capable of loving my wife despite our past troubles and love another just as intently for different reasons. You can imagine the relief that flooded my body when i found that there are people who would accept, no embrace this. I will no longer have to hide the situation and pretend anymore.

I am at peace for now.


Sorry if its long and rambling, but I'm all over the place right now. I owe fate a great deal for showing me others like me and someone i just met at least a nice meal and dirnks just for being fates messanger.

Last edited by Grady40; 04-25-2011 at 01:20 AM.
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